If we're fuckin.
I read many blogs, and the question of whether men and women can be friends if the get it in has come up A LOT in recent weeks. I had been wanting to write about this, but I didn't know what to say. Until now. Well, until yesterday. I had wanted to be all modern, to say that yes, you can (shout out to OBAMA), but....
Hells naw. At least not with THIS CHICK.
I don't know of any word(s) to describe a relationship where people are not romantically commited but they get it in, but I know one word it ain't: friends. I say this based on what I have seen and experienced. If at least one of the partners is discerning, if they are not fucking willy nilly, then they have more than a friendship. Point blank. As far as I am concerned, I chose to make you and keep you as a partner. Every friend I have does not get that privilege, so consider yourself special.
Accept it, then FWC: fuck with caution.
The same way a romantic relationship has to be discussed between the partners, so does a FWB (friend with benefits).
Here are some of the issues that should be discussed BEFORE engaging:
* Birth control
* STI testing
* Dating: Are you actively searching? What stage are you in? Have you met someone you like?
* Am I the only person you are sexing? Are you using protection with them? (to ME, it matters)
* Finish this sentence: If I get pregnant, I will:____________________
(it CAN happen, better to be upfront about it)
The funniest shit is that the Million Dollar question is rarely EVER discussed between FWB's: Why aren't WE a match? If you have a friendship, consider this person attractive enough to bone, the reasons why you are NOT a good match should be laid out and agreed upon. Granted, feelings change, but if you are not moving forward "for the sake of the friendship" consider this: In most cases, the friendship is already changed. Once he has had his head in your crotch or vice versa, the game done changed.
More on this topic later....
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4 comments:
I think there are extenuating circumstances. I believe Hustle and I are friends because we're on the same page and are really clear with what this is and what it ain't.
With that said, there are certain types of friendship. He's not the friend I call to dish about a date with. But he's the friend I will talk about relationships in abstract and we dish about politics, religion, life. Ultimately, we care for and respect each other. To me, that's a friend.
I agree with you about the certain types of friendships. I like the idea of keeping it clear, yet abstract... More food for thought!
If I may ask, why don't you discuss dates with Big? (yes, I clled him Big...LOL!)
I definitely dont think its for every one... but I have had a friend for over 4 years that we get it in on ocassion. The first time was awkward because it was unexpected... but we still were friends after... we still chill like nothing ever happened and only 1 of our mutual friends know... We both were in relationships since the first time and then we cease... and then we start back up if things dont work out... I mean its not a regular thing... just like every other month if either one of us is in need.
He is a catch... some of my homegirls think we should actually date... but I think I know him too well to even take him seriously in a relationship. but the loving is good so instead of grabbing a hold of a dildo when I am in need... why not call him.
Thanks for replying, Eb. I agree that a warm body is noce, but how do you keep feelings from creepin up on you?
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